Script – Pilot

Here are two drafts of the script for the pilot. Compare them to what actually gets said in the episode. How is it different? Why do you think changes were made? How do the changes make the characters sound different? Notice that one of the changes was adding a part where the puppets address a second camera.

FIRST DRAFT

(Erna bustles around “putting things up” on the walls)
Weena: Erna, stop decorating! We’re not staying here!
Erna: Weena, we don’t have anyplace else to go. Dad’s dead, who knows where Mom is. If we don’t hide, social services will take custody and split us up.
Weena: Erna, this place is gonna make me barf!
Erna: Why? It looks a lot nicer now that the moldy old mops are gone.
Weena: I liked those mops! Those mops were part of this place’s atmosphere of ambiance! I was dating the cute one!
Erna: But there’s so much cool advertising stuff here.
Weena: You know how I feel about advertising! You know how I feel about PRETTY!
Erna: Weena, we’re in an advertising *studio*. We have to work with what we can get. And I think some of this stuff is really pretty. Look! Haruki Murakami! It’s like anime.
Weena: Nuts to your anime! Grr! I’m putting up my Adbusters flag.
Erna: Fine. I’m just going to start the show.
Weena: (beat) What show?
Erna: (cue nostalgic music) Remember when you were little you always wanted to do your punk rock show about punk rock things? And I always wanted to have a time slot where I could show my Naruto slash fan videos. how inclusive are we trying to be here?
Weena: Well?
Erna: Wellllll, now we’re not going to school, so we can do exactly what we want. (starts typing)
Weena: Wait a second, wait a second — that’s brilliant! Now that we’re in the guts of an advertising studio, I can speak truth to power! I can investigate the truth behind the LIES and PROPAGANDA they dish out here! I can SMASH THE STATE! TOTALLY SMASH THE STATE!!!
Erna: Uh, sure. Just as long as I get a slot for fan vids.
Weena: Whatever.
Erna: OK Internet, tell us what you’ve always wanted to know about advertising. Or any media, really.
Weena: We’ll tell you why it sucks so much!
Erna: We’ll tell you how they make it look so awesome.
Weena: Just talk to your camera in a video response, or leave us a comment, or send us email.
Erna: (over fadeout) Weena, how are we gonna eat?
Weena: It’s just a show. Relax.

SECOND DRAFT

Erna: Weena, we can’t stay here. We have to go back to school!
Weena: Forget that! I’m through with school! I’m staying here!
Erna: But Weena, we can’t stay here!
Weena: Why?
Erna: It’s a place of business! You can’t live here! There’s no shower, or anything!
Weena: I don’t care! I don’t get to do anything I want at school. Mr. Shinglesdorf won’t let me make videos for my final papers —
Erna: — Weena, you can’t make zombie movies about Shakespeare —
Weena: — I’m not learning anything about getting ahead in the music industry —
Erna: — Getting 99% on Rock Band doesn’t count! —
Weena: — And do you really think Mrs. Unsicker knows how to get around the Net Nanny software to get us on YouTube. Where have you learned everything you know about the Internet?
Erna: (hesitates)
Weena: Cmon.
Erna: Harry Potter slash fanfiction sites on Livejournal.
Weena: See? Just for a while, until we actually learn something.
Erna: OK, but really tomorrow we’re need to go back to school.
Weena: Awesome. Isn’t this just the best place to do the webcast you’ve always wanted to do?
The one about how evil advertising is! And SMASHING THE STATE!
Erna: Weena, that’s the show YOU’VE always wanted to do! I wanted to do GET WIN! Erna’s Daily Internets Fan Revue!
Weena: Whatever.
Erna: OK. I’ll boot up the XO so we can start the show!
(Switch to XO cam)
Erna: OK Internet, tell us what you’ve always wanted to know about advertising. Or any media, really.
Weena: We’ll tell you why it sucks so much!
Erna: We’ll tell you how they make it look so awesome.
Weena: Just talk to your camera in a video response, or leave us a comment, or send us email.
Erna: (over fadeout) Weena, how are we gonna eat?
Weena: It’s just a show. Relax.