Script – Yell and Sell

Here is an early draft of the script for the Yell and Sell episode. Compare it to what actually gets said in the episode. How is it different? Why do you think changes were made?

Weena: O hai, Internets!
Erna: O hai!
Weena: We’re playing with ads.
Erna: Yeah.
Weena: We were reading about ads in Advertising Age.
Erna: We learned about a couple of different *kinds* of ads. (to Weena, half joking) Did you know there were different kinds of ads?
Weena: Aside from stupid, insulting, and boring? Naaaahhh.
Erna: Weena’s favorite kind is YELL AND SELL ads.
(example: Apply directly to the forehead!)
Weena: Yeah, my favorite kind — FOR ME TO POOP ON!
Erna: You know, that’s a lot grosser when it’s not coming from a rubber dog.
Weena: Yell and Sell is another name for Direct Response TV.
Erna: It’s a nickname for the kind of ads you see on, like, late night TV, or Saturday during the day.
Weena: Those are advertising slots are a lot cheaper because fewer people are watching.
Erna: You know, the kind of ads like this guy does.
(clip of Billy Mays)
Erna: What these ads want is for you to respond.
Weena: RIGHT NOW. Go spend money NOW. Phone, Internet, we don’t care.
Erna: The makers of the product decided that they’d sell more product if people went and ordered right away.
Weena: Right. Not the same as a branding ad. Those ads create a MOOOOOD.
Erna: They want you to feel a certain way about their product when you see it in the store.
Weena: Like that bouncing balls ad for Sony flatpanel TVs — how did those make you feel?
Erna: It was like, wow! So awesome! Cool technology and vivid colors!
Weena: And how about this Diet Coke ad?
Erna: Oh, it’s summer! It’s like partying and dancing with my friends!
Weena: (beat) Right. You totally fell for it.
Erna: No, I know it’s an ad! But that doesn’t mean it’s not creative. The people making these ads are masters at evoking a feeling.
Weena: You remember when these ads started?
Erna: Yeah, it was back when we were kids, with those Obsession ads?
Erna: Weird.
Weena: What was that even about? Is this perfume going to make my life nonsensical?
Erna: No, ads like this are about just making you think about them more.
Weena: And the more you think, the more you’ll think about the perfume when you’re in a boo-teek.
Erna: Anyway, we decided to mix things up.
Weena: We’re taking products that are marketed through branding, and doing a yell-and-sell number on them.
Erna: And vice-a versa.
Weena: Here’s my ad.
DeBeers Diamonds! Apply directly to your wedding! DeBeers Diamonds! Apply directly to your wedding! DeBeers Diamonds! Apply directly to your wedding!
Erna: I tried giving a classy branding makeover to a yell-and-sell product.
(ad, borrowing both from deBeers and Hitchcock’s Vertigo)
(giggling from both girls)

Erna: So there are different advertising strategies for different products.
Weena: Right. But when you get right down to it, most sodas or perfumes or TV aren’t that different — the way you feel just reflects the ad.
Erna: Whatever. I still only drink Orangina.

Erna: So Internets!
Weena: Talk to us about strategies for advertising different products.
Erna: What kind of ads do you really like? Which ones drive you crazy?
Weena: If you change the ad, does the value of the product change?
Erna: And we want you to make your own ads!
Weena: What happens when you take a Yell and Sell ad and brand the heck out of it!
Erna: Or find a branded product and sell it like you’re on late night TV!
Weena: We wanna see your chops!
Erna: Bye, Innernats!
Weena: OKeyyyy. It’s Orangina time.
Erna: Yeah, your fixation on that is kinda weird…
(orangina furries still on credits)